"What Makes Me Special" 

By Marie Wallace

Day 1. Today I just found out that I had diabetes. It was really horrible! I was very scared. It took a lot of courage to realize that I had diabetes. My mom told me that it could be much worse. I thought about other kids that had a lot worse situations. That made me feel better. I had to go to the Children's Hospital ER. There I had to wait. When they called my name, we went to a room where a nice lady took my blood pressure. I was still a little nervous. She asked me to take a urine sample. But it came out too fast, so I didn't get any, but I would do it again. Next we had to wait for a free bed, so we had to sit in the waiting room. We waited for one whole hour, only to get insurance, and then we had to wait another half hour. Finally, we got into a room with a bed. Another doctor came in and took my blood. It was very nerve wracking and scary. He said my sugar was VERY high; now that was scary. I was crying a little bit, and wishing that it was just a nightmare. It's very scary thinking to yourself that you have diabetes. A little while later, another doctor came in, and he told us that we would stay overnight, and that we will have people telling us more about diabetes. I got a little insulin. I also got a TY bear. His name is Huggy; he's very cute. I am going to have more blood drawn, and I am NOT looking forward to it!

Day 2. Ash Wednesday. Late in the night, two or three in the morning, I had to get my finger pricked. It makes me jump. I was all sweaty. The bad news was I was way below what I was supposed to be. That means I had too much insulin. That's the whole reason I'm here, for them to figure out how much insulin I need. She made me drink a WHOLE cup of O.J. She left, and I fell asleep. When I woke up, there she was, getting ready to prick my finger again. This time she said I was ... perfect! A group of people or doctors came in to talk about diabetes. They were all very nice. There is a gift shop and they have monkeys. I really want this big gorilla. I hope I get it. I have to eat at certain times, and I can only have certain things. I can't even have apple crisp! On the lunch menu, I had too much of this and too little of that, so I sacrificed my apple crisp! I'm doing okay though. They say that I am perfect! Tonight I got two monkeys. I watched the movie "Muppets From Space." I have to drink diet stuff, and it is yuck!

Day 3. Today I have a sub for Shain. He was my other nurse. I REALLY LOVED him. He was soo funny. But Jennifer is nice too. I also have a girl; her name is Jen, who does my check-ups. She has diabetes too. She has the pump. She's very nice! I kind of don't want to leave all these nice people. They say I might be able to go home! I just got a fax from Monique saying what a good friend I am! The finger pricking doesn't hurt anymore, and I'm feeling that I can do it. My mom was trying to give me my insulin, but she is supposed to let go of my pinched skin before she pulls the needle out, because if you don't, the insulin could squirt out. Thankfully, it didn't squirt out. I am seeing all these other kids, and I'm glad that I don't have it that bad. The nutritionist came and explained the food chart, which is really complicated. Two clowns from the Big Apple Circus came in. They were funny! I had a social worker come in, and now I'm going to a diabetes camp. It's called the Clara Barton camp. It is a sleep away. I'm going home! I got flowers from Bridget, and balloons from Monique. I have great friends!

Day 4. First Day Home. Today I woke up, and got my insulin, and pricked my finger. It was perfect. 88. It might sound a little low, but you should be low. I ate 3 pieces of French toast, and 1 glass of O.J. I had a nurse come today, and her name was Martha. She made the food chart a lot easier! She was very nice. Grammy and Grampy came today as well. I got a little cat case with a 20-dollar bill inside it for when I go to London. I went to Drama, and I had a great time. You can do your normal daily routine just as you were doing before! I can prick my own finger now! It's really easy! I have my own whole kit; it is very cool! I still say it stinks that I can't eat a cookie, or anything when I want to. It's really a bummer. But I am proud to be who I am, and what I am, and that's what counts! It's what makes me SPECIAL!!

After twelve years of nursing, I continue to reap increasing personal rewards from contact with patients and their families. I love the job more and more as time goes by, and the people that I encounter always teach me something, about me as well as themselves. But every once in a while, not terribly often, I am fortunate to meet a truly special soul, someone who has tapped into some kind of wisdom that may surpass their age or life experience. I am uplifted by these inspiring people, who could easily be mistaken for ordinary, or worse, impaired. The 11-year-old girl who allowed me to copy this section of her journal was one such inspiration to me. I have learned what health is, and what it is to be blessed, from my patients.

Martha Klein, R.N.

Copyright © 2000 by [Ram4]. All rights reserved. Revised: 11 Jul 2000 . Send mail to jorge@ram4.com with questions or comments about this web site.